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6 Tips for Writing Your Own Wedding Vows

Wedding videos capture the emotions, movements, and words still photography can't: speeches, note exchanges, and especially your VOWS. Wedding vows are the promises you make to your partner, naturally, you want them to be heartfelt and meaningful, so getting them right might add pressure you don't need! I know that just the thought of piecing together and putting into words the love you have for your spouse can be intimidating especially in front of a crowd. Do not worry I have compiled below for you (both) a few tips to help you out with the task, because as I said it already (many times), I'm always happy to help :D

Wedding Ceremony Vows at The Grotto Port Douglas Wedding Venue

Sit together and talk.

First, check if this is something you both want to do and are on the same page about the feel and tone of the vows. You may have completely different ideas about what wedding vows should sound like. By deciding on a theme and tone, you will ensure complicity between your vows. If you keep your vows a secret until the wedding day, talk and agree about the content (no bad jokes please), the length, and the style you both want ahead of time. More on this below.

Pro Tip: If you're not a big fan of public speaking, just go with the civil vows during your ceremony and then, during your Bride & Groom session exchange your personal vows privately.


Stick to the length you both agreed upon, cap it to a word count and stick to it. You really want balance here. You might want to tell the world how you're feeling into your vows for hours, but you can't, keep it within reason which is around 2-3 mins ;)

Pro Tip: Write everything that is on your heart with your 1st (or 3) draws and then condense it to a final 200-300 words.


When writing your wedding vows, the best way to do this is to think about a structure.

1) Something you love about each other, create a sense of love and feeling, talk about the 1st time you met each other for example. It will make your ceremony more interesting for your guests to hear about your shared history and personal moments.

2) The promises and commitments to each other, remembering to keep them realistic. As much as I encourage you to stay away from inappropriate and embarrassing jokes it doesn’t mean your vows can't have a slightly funny, light heartfelt tone. My wife hates cockroaches and spiders, I promised to always be here for her in life but also when a crawling monster comes into our house.

3) End with your hopes and dreams. Set a platform for the future of your family, and give your guests a glimpse into what life holds for you. You've gathered your friends and family to celebrate your wedding, but you'll need them just as much during your marriage. This is the perfect way to end.

Start writing!!

DO NOT IMPROVISE! On-the-spot vows are not a good sign of spontaneity and your soulmate deserves more effort than this! You don't have to start a year in advance but please don’t leave it to the morning of, or the hour before. If your partner is worth taking the time to write thoughtful and meaningful wedding vows.

If you sit down and find yourself stuck, first of all, figure out why you are stuck, what is it that is stopping you from being able to start? To help, just remember that you are speaking to the person with whom you will be spending the rest of your life. Write your vows down and do a few drafts until you feel they’re spot on.

I hope these tips will help you when the time of writing your own wedding vows will come. Meanwhile, no matter where in your wedding planning journey you are I know you will find some helpful Cairns wedding planning tips in our blog!


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